August 20, 2018
SHARING MY SHAPE.
Something I’ve been sharing more of this year. It all started when I first shared my self portraits with you and it went from there. I received the biggest reaction to any blogpost I’ve ever done, and it made me realise just how much we’re used to seeing edited images in ads and social media. Even though we’ve come a long way – people are still blurring their stretch marks and cinching in their waists on Facetune. To me I’ve never understood that – your body is part of you. If it’s a bad shot – then take a better one! Never forget just how many photos are taken to get the one perfect shot that’s shared on social. And that’s fine to me – it’s a good photo rather than editing your body. Angles are everything.
The funny thing with sharing my body and getting feedback from you all on Instagram is that even though I share myself because I love my body, I still get messages telling me I’m so brave to do so.
Now – I know these are meant as a compliment – perhaps lots of people wouldn’t share the images I do and feel confident about it. However, the reason I’m happy to post a video of me on the beach with a stomach roll is because I literally don’t see it. I’m not trying to even make a statement. I think I look nice so I share it. The same goes for stretch mark or a not-the-skinniest-angle arm. I don’t care. I know what I look like and I’m happy with it, so if an image is off either I’ll shoot it again (rather than edit myself) or I don’t mind because I don’t think anyone will be focusing on say, my arm (and if they are then please go away).
It goes to show how unusual it is for lots of my audience to see a woman who isn’t skinny happily sharing a video of herself sat in a bikini. Or how unusual it is to see a roll – even though, let’s be honest – we all have them.
I’m obsessed with skin as you well know; and that’s why I love every inch of my body. Sure I have days when I’m feeling bad about myself but it doesn’t make me hate my body. The texture and look of the skin is a lot more important to me than how much of it there is.
It’s like a fight between how I’m expected to look and how I do look. The way I inhabit my body and express my physicality seems to be confusing to some. Not because I’m that different to anyone out there, but because I don’t fit the binary rules of how a girl on social media should look. I’m a healthy size 10/12 and eat and exercise. And even then, people tell me I’m ‘brave’ to do so.
It’s like there’s been a repulsion to our own bodies created.
The images we see in popular culture and media are distinctly different to the ones I post of my own shape, where I feel like a real woman. Just look at all the statues in the Louvre. I find that shape incredible.
Again, that’s why I’m happy to post a video of myself with a roll (and no six pack) because I genuinely find that more pleasurable to look at. And if you do have a six pack, that’s great. As long as you’re happy with it. We’re all working on improving ourselves, mentally and physically. But we tend to view ourselves as ‘imperfect’ until we are this unrealistic version of ourselves. As I’ve said before: it’s the imperfections that have always attracted me to something or someone. They should be celebrated.
You do you. Whatever you have is what you’ve got and that’s incredible and you should find pleasure in your own body, whatever that is.
I think the main thing we need to remember is to not compare ourselves to others. We’re all different and born with naturally different shapes and that’s cool. It’d be boring if we all looked exactly the same, no?